Struggling

I'm feeling particularly selfish and whiny...

This is our first full weekend at home, just the 5 of us, in about 7 months!!!! 

It's not going according to my plan. 

I don't want to be interrupted.  I don't want to break up our family of 5 to serve (unexpectedly).  Planning to serve is much different.  Service that fits into my plans doesn't cost me too much.  What about when serving doesn't fit into my plans?  What about when I feel like I've put in enough serving lately and I'm ready for a break?

Now, this...  This is where the rubber meets the road.  This is where the ugliness in my heart overflows.  God needs me to see it so we can deal with it.

If I do not allow God to shine light in the deep, dark places of my heart any reflection of Him I can give will be dim at best.

My flesh would prefer to pout.  This is not, however, glorifying to the King that died for me.  He served.  He served for real.  He is still serving.  And I am supposed to be His hand and feet, when it's in my plans and when it's not.  I cannot be His hands and feet if mine are folded inward and pouting!

Oh, God, don't leave me as I am!!   And thank you for my husband...bless his willingness to serve.