Wednesday, April 24, 2013

lost for words

In my head I've written tons of posts in the last month.  It seems there is so much to write about but I can't bring a particular blog to fruition right now.  Only this hodge-podge of thoughts, joys and struggles.  God is helping me weed through so much...

There is so much swirling around in my heart and soul right now. 

My Gma and her husband, Chuck no longer live in our home.  They are safely moved into their assisted living facility.  My family is slowly claiming our house back. We've even chased each other through the house and played hide-n-seek because there are no elderly to bump or oxygen tubing to trip over or broken windows to fix or dentures to retrieve!  :)  There is dancing and laughter in my home and I love that! 

I've been able to leave my house during meal times and visit with friends and family which I had not done in 6 months.   I love my friend Mandy who was always willing to bring herself and 5 boys over to our house because they wanted to visit with us and she knew I couldn't leave.  We couldn't have made it without our Lambs!

Budgeting has been weird for the last 6 months with extra people here and I'm trying to figure out what is reasonable for us to spend on groceries as I'm buying more whole foods and crazy things like organic brown jasmine rice in a 25 lb bag (purchased online).  I have to figure out how long bulk items will last and how many organic fruit & spinach smoothies we can afford (my kids devour them) each week.

My maternity clothes are in the attic because I don't need them...Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Life can be hard.  In fact, Jesus told us to expect trials and difficulties.  So I know there are seasons of life where simply putting one foot in front of the other is only from God's strength.  Being in survival mode keeps you going but there's not much "be still and know" time.  With recent changes, I feel like a fog has been lifted from my life and I'm learning what I have to process and even how to process these things. 

I pray God will quiet my restless heart.  I pray He will heal my broken heart.  I pray He will guide my foolish heart.   He can provide the direction and discernment I need and, oh, so much more. 
 I am thankful for the joy in my heart, for the song of praise on my lips.  My life is truly abundant!  Oh, how I love Jesus because He first loved me.