Recently, we were faced with an empty bank account. Now, we have faced this before. We bust out fending spreezes when necessary. But this time was different. We couldn't just stop spending or cut back. There wasn't anything to spend. We paid for our important things like the mortgage (for the house we don't live in) and the utilities. You might think that food is important and, we agree. But we have also agreed not to spend money we don't have...and I was
Amazingly, the Lord worked it all out. The Lord provided what He saw fit and I love His timing! First of all, we didn't know we had the $75 ahead of time. We were starting with $0 to spend on food or anything else... What we were to spend per week was revealed to us on a weekly basis. Secondly, we had a pretty good amount of food in our pantry and freezer already. We just had to be creative! The $75 we survived on was for anything beyond our regular bills (mortgage, phone/internet, utility, and car insurance). So, the $75 had to cover food, gas, and anything else...
Week 1 - A customer had paid us in cash and we had $20 left. Bruce found $5 in his wallet...provision for the first week! $25: I honestly don't remember what I bought. Probably some produce and a random item or two. :)
Week 2 - We found a dish of coins and decided to take it to the bank. I was surprised and excited! Turned out to be $34 $34: Being so excited that I had more than Week 1, I'm sure I splurged
By the end of week 2, I had no idea where the next week's provision was coming from or if there is even going to be anything to spend. The excitement about the previous 2 weeks provision is beginning to wane and I'm slipping in to a bit of a woe-is-me mentality. Doesn't God know that I am going to eventually run out of meat, veggies, flour, butter, cheese, baking powder, fruits and have nothing to be creative with? Doesn't God know that I am being super creative with what we have? Doesn't God know that I am just trying to feed my family fresh, home-cooked healthy foods? Doesn't God know that I have a child with holes in their tennis shoes? Doesn't God know that we're going to run out of shampoo and toilet paper? How can I pick between shoes and food? Doesn't God know that I have been stretched enough this time...I mean, we were running out of things like mustard, cheese, chocolate (mine and Bruce's indulgence each evening is a piece or 2 of dark chocolate), baking essentials, etc.
**God can totally handle my honesty and me talking like an Israelite. He knows what is in my heart and longs for me to come to Him with my whole heart. It is the only way He can show me what should not be there and help me get rid of anything that doesn't look like Him. When I am complaining and grumbling, He does listen and gently reminds me that He is the Creator and Sovereign Lord and and it does me good to remember that...
Oh, wait. Yes. Yes, God does know. And, yes, God does care. And sometimes He prompts a friend to give you a bag of chocolate and straws because the little things do matter!!
And, sometimes He says, "Do you trust me?" to which I reply, "of course I trust you, God!" And then He says again, "Do you trust me?" (Well, He must not have heard my first response because isn't it obvious that I trust Him? ) Maybe I do need to be stretched and humbled. Maybe I have some pride that needs to be removed. Maybe I have so many issues that only a merciful, loving God could stick with me. So, He brings up the subject of trust again...
God: "Do you trust me?"
Me: humbly and honestly, "yes"
God: "Am I enough for you?"
Me: "definitely, but let me tell you what we need..."
*this is where I picture God patiently, lovingly shaking his head*
God: "Elizabeth, am I enough for you?"
Me: "Oh, you mean just You and nothing else?"
Me: "hmmmmm...I think so. Please help me overcome my unbelief"
Week 3 - I was looking for something in the diaper bag in the van and came across $7. Party time!! Found $2 more in change in the house. Party and dance time! $9: I was so tickled at what I was able to buy to feed my family, I had to take a picture. :)
The simple fact that I worked in an avocado for myself made me giddy!
We are now running out of gas and I am not going anywhere!! My husband's work van needed gas and that went on the business credit card. Let's face it, if he isn't able to drive to people's houses and businesses, he isn't able to work so, his gas will get paid for later. We also needed some feed for the animals but that worked out as well. We sell our eggs and put that cash in an envelope that is used to buy chicken feed when we need it. That envelope had enough in it to buy the goat feed we needed. It is important to feed the goats, especially since one is a dairy goat. Milking the goat every day during this time was a blessing because I didn't have to fit $4 per gallon milk into the ever tightening budget. I figured the $9 week would be our tightest. The test was surely over. Time for God to open up the floodgates and fill our pantry...
By the way, I am
Week 4 - Believe it or not, it was less than Week 3!! Stay tuned for the conclusion in Part II!