Sunday, February 3, 2013

I'm complicated

I'm complicated.  Just ask my husband.  Not high-maintenance (I don't like that term), just complicated.  When I take the Love Language test to determine my love language, I have 3 that tie...see, complicated.

I heard a sermon this morning.  It was how to deal with loss.  The pastor described the 5 stages of grief. 
  1. Shock & denial
  2. Sadness
  3. Anger
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance & hope
Interesting that I would hear this sermon while grieving.  What is complicated is that I feel that I can be at any or all of these stages at once.   But I'm clinging to the hope when the other stages threaten to go beyond what is helpful.  These stages.  My feelings.  They are natural.  They are biblical.  As long as the first 4 do not reign in my heart forever.

Scientists have studied tears.  Emotional tears release toxins from the body.  So, I'm getting rid of lots of toxins. 
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  
When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night

I will yet praise him
Psalm 42:2,3,5

When reality does not interest me at all, I will call on the Lord and feed on His word.

By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me-
a prayer to the God of my life.
Psalm 42:8

My Jesus is walking me through this.  He has sent me many hugs, helping hands, and encouraging words.

The LORD is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.
 Psalm 118:14

My emotions are raw.  My heart is broken.  I'm a complicated mess. 

But, I know the One who has come to bind the brokenhearted!  I know the One who will comfort all who mourn.  He holds the oil of gladness and He is the best at making beauty from ashes.  How very dear to me that my Savior quoted these promises about Himself to those in the synagogue and told those listening that they were seeing scripture fulfilled before their very eyes.  (See Isaiah 61 and Luke 4:14-21)  How awesome!  The very Word of God made flesh reading the Word of God.  That gives me chills, comfort and joy!  

Hope.  I'm clinging to Him.


  1. Elizabeth I do not know what has caused your grief. But I am praying for you.

  2. Thank you, Patricia. I have been going through a miscarriage this week. I appreciate your prayers

  3. I am so very sorry I have been there myself so I understand. Praying for you,Bruce and the girls.